Like a program, I had written my life's lines of code very carefully during high school. Being Student Council President at SMAN 2 Trenggalek, winning national competitions, and keeping my report card grades stable. I thought deploying to my dream university would run without bugs. Unfortunately, the system said otherwise.
1. Expectation Phase: Accumulating a 'Library' of Achievements
Before the storm came, everything felt very promising. I was gathering many assets for the future.
Hoarding National Certificates
I invested in many competitions. Each trophy and certificate was a line of code I hoped would ease my way in the national selection.
The Imagined College Jacket
In my head, SNBP was a toll gate. Just tap and enter. My status as Student Council President pushed my confidence level to 100%.
2. Fatal Error: The SNBP Tragedy
The announcement day came, and for the first time, I met the most painful system failure.
Seconds to the Red Screen
I refreshed the announcement page with trembling hands. The result? A red box with text no one ever wants to read.
Questioning the Logic of the Selection Algorithm
"Why?" was the only repeating question. I felt I had given the best input, so why was the output still a rejection?
3. Rewriting Code: The SNBT Grind
Not wanting to dwell on the error, I tried to make a hotfix. I switched to the written test path.
Turning My Room Into a Prep Lab
Piles of UTBK books became a daily view. I studied from morning until early dawn, debugging every difficult math and logic topic.
Deceiving Simulations
Every time I did a Try Out, my score was always above the threshold. I felt the system this time would respond with 200 OK.
4. System Crash: Second Failure
If failing once is painful, then failing twice is absolute destruction.
Second Announcement: Red Again
The screen was red again. At this point, it felt like not just the program failed, but the hardware (my mental state) was starting to show signs of overheating.
Social Pressure and Identity Crisis
Being a former student organization leader but failing two national selections made me feel like I lost my identity. I felt like a bug in the midst of other people's success.
5. Emotional Visualization: Effort vs Confidence Chart
(Use chart component here to show your emotional fluctuations)
Note: The graph above shows how my confidence fell to
0after the second rejection, before finally starting to rise again when finding new hope.
6. ITS Achievements Path: The Successful Deployment
Turns out, God did not let my lines of code go to waste. There was one last path that became a savior.
Gathering the Remaining Spirit
With whatever energy was left, I registered for the Achievements Path at ITS using the competition certificates I once thought "useless" during SNBP.
Last Click: Finally Blue!
When the announcement appeared, the screen was blue. "Congratulations, you are declared passed...". Finally, my life's program successfully deployed in Informatics Engineering, ITS.
7. Reflection: What Did I Learn from This 'Loop'?
This sequential failure gave me a new perspective I wouldn't have gotten if everything ran smoothly.
Failure Doesn't Mean Stop
In coding, failure is how the system tells you something needs to be fixed. So is life.
A New Definition of Luck
Luck is the meeting point between thorough preparation and the opportunity that comes at the right time—not the time we want.
8. Message for You Staring at a Red Screen
If today you are in the position I once was, listen closely.
The World Doesn't End Because of One Selection
Keep grinding and keep debugging!